{"id":677,"date":"2020-01-07T23:35:25","date_gmt":"2020-01-07T23:35:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/?p=677"},"modified":"2020-01-08T00:39:38","modified_gmt":"2020-01-08T00:39:38","slug":"stickheads-jumping-off-the-ground","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/2020\/01\/07\/stickheads-jumping-off-the-ground\/","title":{"rendered":"Stickheads jumping off the ground"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I\u2019m having surgery today on my abdomen. Nothing major: just a little operation to keep my lower intestines in ship shape! This is a before<\/em> and after<\/em> blog post.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hungry. I haven\u2019t eaten or had anything to drink since yesterday. I don\u2019t usually eat very much in the mornings but I do rely on several cups of tea and coffee to keep me up and running. Hopefully the surgery will be quick and I can get a drink this evening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Going to hospital always seems to be a strangely liminal experience; as if it\u2019s only half-happening. That strange half-asleep, quasi-dreamstate you have just before waking up. Usually trips to hospital seem to happen unexpectedly: births, deaths, accidents, illnesses. That this operation has been booked for over a month hasn\u2019t given it any greater sense of actuality. (In fact, I\u2019ve half-expected the hospital to cancel the operation because of a lack of surgeons.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I haven\u2019t really thought about the complications much. When you sign the consent forms you are recited a list of possible complications. It was only when a nurse told me they maintain a blood match to ensure that the hospital has a supply of matching type, that an accidently cut artery becomes a possibility. I\u2019ve also avoided searching up the procedures online. My mother, who had been a surgery nurse, always advised against surgery. She\u2019d describe the way that doctors lifted out the intestines and slopped them on the table as something medieval. It\u2019s a ghastly image that\u2019s always stayed with me. Let\u2019s hope that\u2019s not what actually happens nowadays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was asked to arrive at 11.30 and got to the admissions lounge early. Once admitted, I changed into a rather fetching gown and disposable pants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After that I sat around until 2.15 when the surgeon and anaesthetist interviewed me. Then another long wait until after 5 when I was walked down to the operating theatre. I was the last of the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The needle with the anaesthetic was sharp and cold. Quickly, I felt looseness in my vision. The room I was in moved to and fro. An oxygen mask was put over my mouth and nose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThink of these colours,\u201d said the aneathetist. \u201cTurquoise, white and yellow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I started to repeat the words aloud…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I was on the balcony of a white hotel in the Mediterranean. I was looking out at a turquoise ocean. The most gorgeous ocean possible. Below, a golden empty beach stretched around the curve of a bay. Someone was calling me from behind…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I woke up on a bed in the recovery room. A nurse asked me if I was ok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy throat hurts,\u201d I told her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou had a tube down your airway during the operation,\u201d she replied, checking my blood pressure and heart rate. A machine beeped behind me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow long was I in surgery?\u201d I croaked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAbout an hour. It\u2019s all gone well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spent two hours in the recovery room begore being taken to a ward. There were no beds available and all we (three other parients and me) could do was drink water, then a hot drink and then some food. The nurses were forced to stay an hour over their shifts while a bed was found. Then they couldn\u2019t locate a doctor to discharge me from surgery (called EDM – no, nothing to do with electronica).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eventually, they wheeled me to a ward where I\u2019m writing this. I can\u2019t go home until I urinate and, as of now, my urine won\u2019t ate. So I guess I\u2019m in for the night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wound is tender but not painful and I can stand up. I have checked: my testicles are still both there. So far, the \u201ccomplication\u201d of having a testicle chopped off hasn\u2019t happened. Hurrah!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m having surgery today on my abdomen. Nothing major: just a little operation to keep my lower intestines in ship shape! This is a before and after blog post. Before. Hungry. I haven\u2019t eaten or had anything to drink since yesterday. I don\u2019t usually eat very much in the mornings but I do rely on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":650,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=677"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":679,"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677\/revisions\/679"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/650"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/garyhollingsbee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}